Fight for Joy
Two years.
It’s been a few days past the two year mark of my car accident. My life these last two years has been so up and down. Life as I once knew it changed and I find myself always adjusting the term “normal” in my life.
I have to be honest, I have had some really, really dark days and weeks. Days when all I could do was cry from being in pain, clench my teeth in frustration at everything I couldn’t do or just lay down and sleep because that was all my body allowed me to do. This glamorous life that I imagined I would have as a kid was far from the reality I was living in.
It’s easy to have a pity-party for yourself in these circumstances. A while back I wrote a list of everything that I could no longer do and I cried. Why me? Why did this accident have to happen? I was in this downward spiral of thinking of everything that was wrong with my life and forgetting all of the good things I still had.
Some of you may remember the post I did called Finding Joy in the Journey. Despite the fact that I wrote that over a year ago, I still have to consciously make an effort to find joy in the difficult circumstances. It’s so easy to be down about where I am and forget how far I have come and where I am now, in this moment.
FIGHT FOR JOY, even in the heartache, pain and difficult times. Trust me, once you take a step back from the pity-party and find joy (even in the small things), your perspective starts to change.
Some of you have shared your stories with me and I have been touched by your transparency and openness to share. I know for certain that had I not gone through this, I wouldn’t have some of you as readers. Despite how difficult this journey has been, I know that I’m not alone. Occasionally I’ll get an email or comment from a reader who has encountered their own difficult journeys and while I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, it’s neat to be able to relate in a way that far outweighs crafts and blogging. In these moments, I almost sense God saying, “See, I DO care about you, I’m still here and you are not alone in this.”
If you are one of those who have sent an email or reached out, thank you. You may not have known at the time, but you were/ are little “joy tokens” that remind me I’m not in this alone. In the moments where I want to give up and have doubts that I’ll ever fully heal or get past my health issues, I cling to the things in life that bring me joy. It’s a mental change that I’ll admit isn’t easy, but it does change your perspective. It’s almost like it gives you a little more fighting spirit to tackle the difficult things.
FIGHT FOR JOY. And remember, dear friend, you are not alone in this journey.
What a beautiful and encouraging post! You are so strong and glad you have not given up hope. Thinking of you daily and always pray for your well being and strength! Xoxo
Bless you and your willingness to be vulnerable by sharing so much of your story with us. Continued prayers for unexpected joys when you most need them!
Beautiful card Paulina. Thanks for sharing your story and journey. We all need reminding to find joy. You have a wonderful company with wonderful products. You are very creative and the sky is the limit In this industry! Praying that your pain will go away completely.
Thank you for this beautiful and touching post. I know how hard it is to adjust to a “new normal” but I also believe and try to practice “finding joy” in all things and seeing good where before I might not have believe there was any. You are an inspiration and thank you again for sharing.
Such a touching and well expressed post, Paulina! You are very brave and you always convey your fighting spirit even when you are struggling. Wishing you more joy and continued healing!!
thank you for sharing this :) It takes a great deal of strength to see through the pain and search for anything positive. Sending hugs and healing energy :) ox
I know exactly what you feel, what you are saying. A little over 9 years ago, I had a radical mastectomy. Down to the ribs. Cancer invaded my lymph nodes. My skin of the left breast. Chemo, radiation, and adjunct therapies. I fought hard for 5 years before I ran out of energy, and became so depressed. It’s taken me a long time to discover my joy. And I have days when I do not see it. But I push myself through the dark, so I can find my way back into the light. Thanks for sharing your story. May you be blessed with many many joys!
You are one of most positive and amazing people that I’ve known in my life, Paulina! You make me feel strong and happy. I really apprecaite it. Hope your life is much brighter and happier than you think. I’ll fight fot joy with you. Thanks for sharing your great thoughts. Sending big hugs to you, Paulina. (I’m your long time follower since 10 minute craft dash. Sorry for not commenting often on your posts. But I check your blog all the time.)
I know how a car accident can abruptly change your life.
Just keep in your heart all those things that make you
smile.
Paulina, this post is beautiful, just like you and your wonderful spirit. You are an inspiration to me creatively as well as personally. Thanks so much for your honesty in sharing your constant health issues and the way you manage to fight for Joy in your life. Keep up the good work in both areas. xox
Thank you so much for sharing! There are so many times when I feel alone, especially when doctors tell you that they haven’t ever had anyone with health issues like yours or that they don’t know what to do for you because of not having any other patients like you. It’s not only scary, but it can be extremely lonely. So I’m so thankful that you have shared what your going through because that’s exactly how I have felt too. I am always asking God to show me the reasoning behind all of this and I really do believe that someday he will show me my purpose and all of this will make sense. Maybe he already has, maybe it’s so our paths would cross :) I pray for you and all of those who are out there like us. I pray we all receive healing so that we can enjoy this life God has given us.
Hi Paulina,
You are truly a naturally joyful spirit and I don’t see it ever leaving you, so please continue to “Fight for Joy” in your life. Love that motto! Sharing your journey on your blog and being so honest about your feelings, your ups and downs, your battle to remain joyful in the midst of pain, and even questioning “why you” and coming to the realization that you really aren’t alone and to remind others of that – you are truly an inspiration for others .Your courage, your determination, your hopefulness, your goodness, and your faith will help you through this journey. Take care and God Bless.
Keep up the good fight sweet girl.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
D~
DesignsByDragonfly.blogspot
Keep your chin up, Paulina! You are a strong, beautiful, and amazingly talented young woman! Sending you friendship and big hugs!!!
What a heartfelt story. I myself have a pretty charmed life with just ordinary/every day incidents… but I think it’s always humbling when you go through a life changing experience and you come out on top. I admire those who find the strength to fight for joy every day no matter how bad they feel. .. and when I think of those people, the quote ‘God only gives you what you can handle’ comes to my mind…
A very touching entry – I admire your resilience. It is definitely an effort, a struggle, a slow development. If one things about what he or she cannot do, then we’d all have reason to feel inadequate, but possibilities are limitless and we CAN do a lot. I love PPP – you have a creative, kind, beautiful soul and I am sure you have made a difference in many people’s lives by just being yourself, as you are. :)
Wow–what a powerful post! It’s funny how that times out, because just yesterday, my mom & I were discussing how, when I was in high school, I was ready to go all the way to getting my doctorate degree. But with the onset of major depression & schizophrenia during my college years, I was “only” able to attain an associate degree. Because I went so long not knowing just WHAT was wrong with me (the schizophrenia diagnosis itself came later), I had a hard time explaining to some people around me why I suddenly couldn’t “perform” as I had all my life. I still struggle with mental illness, and most likely will for the rest of my life. But I have had the good fortune to find an excellent doctor & counselor to help, and my mom is one of my major rocks in life, and at this time, I’m fairly stable. I am disabled, but I also know I could be much worse. One thing that tends to make me irritated (if not downright angry) are what I call the “pithy sayings” people who don’t suffer much come up with. One for me was that happiness is a “choice.” Not very encouraging when you’re in the depths of despair through no fault of your own, and can’t “get over it”! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know your post touched me, and share something of my experience with you. We are not alone! Thank you so much for your openness.
wow… I read your post here, and then went to your link where you talked about your accident. Sending lots of good thoughts your way! You share much happiness with lots of people through your blog and your crafting. You are an amazing young woman!
Hugs to you, my friend! I am so encouraged by your strength and your faith! I know this journey is difficult, but I think it’s so awesome how you continue to strive to choose joy.
I’m praying for you….
I completely understand how a life filled with daily pain can often create those bleak days. You are so right that with a shift of thinking, and the perspective of time, that many things can be appreciated and blessings can be found. I know that if I was well, then I wouldn’t have the time I have had with my family and friends. I appreciate that so much. I am also always amazed at how much you accomplish despite your limitations and pain. You are an inspiration to many. May God bless you with healing and a positive outlook.
Sending big hugs to you! Each day is a mystery. We wake up & I pray each morning that we make it through the day. My health & my teen’s is a big question mark w/each dr. Not fun. Prayers do work in numbers. You will be in our prayers pretty girl. Happy day to you. xo