Finding Joy In The Journey
Joy. It’s a simple three-letter word and yet sometimes it’s one of the hardest emotions to show. This little word has been on my heart for a few weeks now but I kept putting off bringing it to the blog. Why? Quite honestly, because I haven’t felt all that joyful recently.
If you missed my previous posts about my car accident and updates, find them HERE, HERE and the latest update HERE
As my regular readers know, I was in a car accident 14 months ago. That one moment, that one day in August 2013, changed my life and turned my life upside down. I went from being a girl who had a full social life, a bright future, dreams and goals that went on for days, to being someone I barely recognize internally. The person who had plans just about every single weekend, the world at her fingertips, someone in the “prime” of her life suddenly was fighting for the will to live on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. Physical pain took on new life, the days of “normal” sleeping hours went from 6 to 18, the amount of doctor visits in just three months was more than most people go in 10 years. I can’t tell you that during these moments I had joy, because that would be a flat-out lie.
The first few days and weeks after my accident, I was grateful to be alive. That in itself was and is a miracle. However, soon after, I was wishing I hadn’t made it. The amount of physical pain I was dealing with was excruciating. The months and months of not having ANY answers was difficult mentally and emotionally. Spiritually, it’s been one battle after another and I felt like I had nothing left worthwhile to offer the world. Heck, I couldn’t even stand for 5- 10 minutes. What was the point in life anymore?
These last 14 months have been a long journey. I’m sad to say, that during this time, more often than not I haven’t had joy. I was angry that God would allow this to happen. I battle often with thoughts of discouragement and wondering if I’ll ever find someone who will love me and be able to handle the issues I face. In fact, I often still struggle with the fact that I can’t do things most can do on a daily basis.
Recently Jesus has tugged at my heart and I had a mental change (no doubt to the hundreds of prayers on my behalf). I wanted to stop thinking about everything I couldn’t do and be grateful for the things I COULD do. I could still craft occasionally. I could still blog occasionally. I could still work occasionally. There are days when I almost feel normal and have energy….THOSE are my favorite. Finding joy in these things have made a difference in my outlook. Taking captive the days when I do have energy carries me through the days when I can’t work or get out of bed. Finding joy in the little things (that might normally get taken for granted) has a way of changing your outlook on things.
During this whole journey, I have continued to blog and share life when I was able to. Who knew that in THESE moments, the times when I opened my “book” and shared a few pages, these would be the moments that bonded you all to me. Sharing my journey (and pain) has been humbling and yet God has been able to use it to bring joy. The emails and comments I have received when I have opened my life to you, the prayers and encouragement, the letters and gifts I have received, those things have brought me joy.
Is it easy? No. Does it take practice? Yes. Am I a pro at it? No. Do I strive to find joy in at least one thing daily? Yes.
I know many of you are going through difficult times right now. I encourage and challenge you to find JOY in at least one thing daily. It can be big or little, take that thing captive and hold onto it.
We are all on a journey and it’s easy to get discouraged, frustrated or even angry at the one we are on. Let’s find JOY in the journey we are currently on….you just never know where it could take you.
Hi Paulina – Thank you so much for sharing your life with us! Reading your words of encouragement brings me JOY as I am also dealing with health problems. I look forward to your blog posts, because I can get a moment to think about something other than life’s negativeness. Thank you!
Paulina, you are a beautiful, amazing and courageous soul! I admire you so much and feel honoured to be allowed to hear your inner thoughts, struggles, hopes and best of all joys! xox
Hi Paulina, thank you so much for sharing your life with all of us! You are an encouragement to me. I just finished up a bible study on choosing JOY. Have you read Ann Voskamps book “One Thousand Gifts”? If you haven’t I would highly recommend it and would even send you my copy. :) Continued prayers for you. XO
Paulina, thank you for sharing this post with us! It is a great thing that you can be so open about this! You are in my thoughts! Hugs! xoxo
I am glad that you are finding that joy Paulina! I can’t imagine what you must be going through on a daily basis, but I do know that you are a part of my prayers! Continue your positive outlook (most days!) and know that your contribution to the world matters!
Paulina, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. You are such an amazing person! I believe the positive thinking could change everything, even your health issues. Stay strong and positive. Hope you find more joy in your daily life. Best wishes, May
Wow Paulina, I am a recent follower and I would never have guessed so much was occurring in your life. Your post is uplifting to be sure and I am glad that you are finally finding a little bit of peace in your situation. 9 Years ago our life was turned upside down due to terminal illness of one of my children. You are right nothing looks the same but you need to see the joy and continue on. Realize that things happen for a reason and you will come out the other end :)
You are so inspiring! I love how you have been able to see God’s tender mercies in your life, how you’re allowing Him to refine you into an even more incredible person (though I’m sure you started out pretty incredible :) ), and how you are sharing your faith and experiences with others.
Congratulations Paulina on having such a positive attitude to your health and life. As I long-time sufferer of Chronic Fatigue I have some understanding of how it feels when your life feels like it has stopped and nothing is the same. You’ve inspired me to keep going and to keep trying. Thank you
Little Pink…yes life is a journey and we all have one. I can empathize with you for 4 years ago have surgery and developed CRPS. Job dismissed me for the restrictions given were to great and boy has my life changed. You spoke of day to day I can relate. Look to the hills with prayer and help always comes in one form or another. Will continue to pray for you to regain or improve your life to do some of the things you enjoy. I am currently on a 4 month hiatus for my creativity has left on angel wings and hope for it immediate return and this I pray for you
Paulina…Thank you so much for sharing your journey and struggles with us. You are definitely not alone. In 22 years of marriage, we have had more health and other trials than any one person ever should, but I would never wish these trials on my worst enemy. In short, we have overcome most and are better for them. Our marriage is stronger than ever because we’ve learned to put the other above ourself, learning unselfishness which is a very needed attribute in a good marriage. We know that if we could make it through the trials we’ve already faced we can make it through anything!! Just know that through my trials I’ve learned one very important lesson….God does not punish us or like us less than anyone else by giving us these trials..We chose to come here and in doing so have our free will. Unfortunately, this gives others free will to make bad decisions such as drinking and driving, texting and driving, murder, rape, etc. What we do need to know is that our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ, are hurting just as much as we are by watching us go through such pain, and not being able to interfere. But know that they are there to cry to in prayer, to comfort us, and to help us find our Happy/Joy in all things. I too struggle to get out of bed every day. I live in constant pain in my back, neck, and joints. I can’t craft as much as my heart desires or be the mom and housewife I want to be every day, but I am so grateful that I can do those things when I can. Crafting is my retrieve from the pain (even though it makes me hurt more when I’m done, its still worth it). *Hugs* to you my friend. I’m glad you have started to find your Joy. Thanks again for sharing your story with us.
I love how your truth and inspiration are spoken in the same words, never sugar coated, but always in a gentle manner. Such an incredible post. Finding joy is a journey and I think through life it’ll come and go, but always so important to seek it out. Hugs and prayers to you Pauline. Mahalo for sharing.
You’re really one inspirational chick. You know that! I read this post with tears in my eyes wishing I could do something to relieve you…but it seems you’re doing that for yourself. Right on girl. Hats off to you. You’re AWESOME!
This is my first time on your blog. I am encouraged by your trust in the Lord through all your physical problems. I have a suggestion… one of m nieces was having stomach and headache problems. She did a little better by cutting out gluten. They tested her and found out she had a parasite. Since treating it she can pretty much eat what she wants again. Just a thought… for what it is worth.
Thank you so much for sharing, Paulina. I have learned through experience, like you, that we grow through our trials and tribulations. A lily has to push through a lot of dirt to become something beautiful and I think you are that beautiful lily now. God bless you and give you strength for every day .