Laughing In The Moments
I never would have imagined I would be 26 and riding in an automated shopping cart. Goodness, those were for people who were either old, handicapped, pregnant or had special circumstances. For someone who was overly cautious not to hurt themselves, active and healthy and having no prospects of a husband or starting a family in sight, to THIS….
It’s not a secret I’ve been having a tough physically journey since the accident. I’ve gotten some answers, but new issues arise and it seems like life will never return back to the way it was. You know, “normal”. Being able to hop in the car and drive to wherever I needed to go, getting up at a regular morning hour and be able to work a full day, shopping and standing at the grocery store or mall. The little everyday things that most everyone takes for granted, those are the things I long to do.
Recently, I’ve had a few trips to the store where I learned that my body isn’t letting me stand past 5-10 minutes. For a while, I was stand for up to 20 minutes or so and could keep on walking, but that isn’t the case any more. A recent shopping trip proved that now my threshold is 5 minutes, if that. There’s something about that position that gets me super light-headed, which prompts dizziness and the feeling like I’m going to faint. It’s not at all pleasant and has left me not wanting to go anywhere.
As we all know, Christmas is right around the corner and I’m so far behind on everything, it’s almost comical. I’ve been able to do online shopping, but I learned that getting wrapping paper online can either be 1) super expensive or 2) impossible (as in, it’s not available). For a girl that likes to make presents pretty and wanting to handpick her own wrapping paper, this was going to be an obstacle. (Dare I say that I almost succumbed to using Valentine wrapping paper?!)
My sister came over yesterday and we made a surprise trip to visit a friend. Since that went without incident, she offered to take me to Target to get the items I needed. After talking about our “game plan” (aka: how I could get to the back of the store), she said I should use an automated cart. My initial thought: what would people think of me?
One would think with all that I’ve had to deal with these last 16 months, I would have learned to swallow my pride easily months ago. It’s something I’m working on and (slowly) succeeding at.
After prodding from my sister and her being more than willing to help me get items, I can now say that we maneuvered the store, I FINALLY got to the back of Target to get the items I needed and many items are now crossed off the shopping list. I have a new sense of admiration for those who have to use those automated carts at stores regularly. People constantly dash in front of them, the turn radius is atrocious (yes, I did run into one shelf), you get strange looks often AND reversing leads to an annoying beep, beep, beep noise….
During this memorable shopping trip, I couldn’t help but laugh many times. I know I looked silly, this situation is less than ideal, but the fact that I could laugh through it, is proof that change is happening inside of me. Not to mention, my pride is being broken piece by piece, I’m learning to appreciate the small things and I’m learning what true friendship really means. I’m not sure if I would have learned these lessons had the accident not happened… friends, it’s all about finding joy in the journey and laughing in the moments.
I’d love to know, what circumstance or situation did you last laugh about?
Paulina, i know what you mean about losing your pride piece by piece. It takes special grace to embrace “the new normal,” and not think that we have to be completely self-sufficient like before. It took me awhile to accept this while recovering from surgery. So many people offering to help and I didn’t want to NEED that help. But letting others help us is a gift in itself, to them. Most people are happy to “pay it forward,” and denying them that opportunity is where the pride comes in. The relief when you “let go; let God” is amazing. Glad you are laughing and learning!
You DO NOT look silly, you look adorable. And I am proud of you for overcoming this obstacle. We ALL need to swallow our pride on more than one occasion in our lifetime.
And for those that give you a funny or rude look, Simply look them in the eye, smile and say hello… or how are you…or Merry Christmas… or have a blessed day… Don’t let them intimidate, belittle or embarrass you in ANY way. The best thing we can do for those sad individuals is keep them in our prayers.
LOVED reading this, Paulina! Good for you. May you have a blessed Christmas this year and an even more blessed 2014! Hugs!
Oh Paulina, I have been praying for you and didn’t realize all that this whole struggle involves. Thanks for sharing. I will keep praying.
I feel so badly that such a young and BEAUTIFUL person like you has to go through so much on a day to day basis!
So glad you’re dealing with it so well, though! Friendship is very important, and laughing at the silly stuff…well, that’s really important too!
I will continue to keep you in my prayers! And, I hope this holiday season turns out to be the best one yet…Hugs to you,
Barb
My husband thought he would surprise me with a shot of yummy whipped cream from a can knowing a love whipped cream. Problem was, he was standing and I was sitting and there was the whole surprise factor so I didn’t know I was suppose to open my mouth! So when I turned to face him, my face was turned upwards, my mouth was closed and the whipped cream went up my nose! Then a huge amount of it flew past my face and landed all over my craft supplies! I was furious at first then I realized he meant well and how ridiculous it all was and started to laugh.
When my youngest was 4mo old I broke my ankle. I know all about the wonder of those automated carts – they can be terrifying! They are nice though when it means you get to shop at the back of the store. Chin up, grin and drive on!
I am so glad you have such a super friend. Those carts are there for just that reason. To help people who need it. Do not feel weird! Anyone who might look at you oddly needs to check themselves at the door.
When I was 30 I dislocated my knee cap {my daughter was just a toddler} I had surgery and not long after I blew out the other knee and had surgery on it, too. My ortho doctor {who was the dr for our pro basketball team} said the insides looked like that of a 60 year old and they would continue to get worse as I got older. Fast forward 20+ years, I am in pain daily and some days I just do not want to get out of bed BUT I decided long ago I wasn’t going to let it win. I push on day by day so life doesn’t pass me by.
Do what you can when you can. Enjoy those precious moments when they come along for once they are gone they are gone. Do not let the opinion of others bring you down and deter you from doing what you need to do. Most of all take it easy on yourself.
Hope they can find a way to make these issues go away real soon for you.
You are in my prayers.
Crafty hugs,
D~
DesignsByDragonfly.blogspot
Just know you’re the cutest cart driver anyone will see that day! I used a rolling walker (with the seat) for our vacation to New Orleans and it was fabulous b/c I was able to go all day without causing everyone to slow down or quit early. So, I swallowed my pride and it was the best idea. Save your energy for the shopping and not the walking! Latest laugh? That video of the airline that gave its passengers their Christmas wishes and the guy who said he wanted socks and underwear. He is totally kicking himself now!
Oh wow, I am so sorry that you are in that situation!! I just read your post about the accident. How frightening, to say the least. My prayers for some relief in your pain, and for an answer to be found for the long-term. My neighbor is going through dizziness issues that started two months ago and she is so scared with not knowing what the cause is. When you’re healthy, you really take it for granted until something like that happens. You have a great attitude about it all … stay strong!!