Worrying Will Never Change the Outcome
From the outside looking in, I may seem put together and have what seems to be a perfect life. I run a successful blog, have a “dream job”, get to travel to different locations and attend shows and meet various people, have a perfect family, a supportive church…. on the outside, yes, this may seem perfect to those who don’t know me. I don’t try to put on a show, by any means, but I suppose to the outsider it looks like things are going well in my life.
Dig a little deeper and there is a whole slew of pains, issues and challenges that I go through regularly. Back in August, I have a pretty major car accident {post here} that changed my life. One would think that life would be back-to-normal now, but it isn’t. I still deal with reoccurring physical pains and complications, health conditions that have changed since the accident, and I haven’t been behind the wheel successfully in a long, long time. I haven’t ever had a panic attack until recently and boy, they are not fun.
In the next few weeks, there will be a lot of changes in my life and if I’m being honest, I’m worried. The people who regularly give me rides will be gone and I’m needing to figure out transportation for the next month. How will I get to the various places I need to go? {I live in a rural area and buses don’t come out this far}
It’s actually more than even this…. will I ever be able to drive by myself again? Will I be able to go through the rest of my life without pain? Will I get back to “normal” again? Will even the mere thought of driving alone not terrify me? Will I find someone who accepts my physical issues and love me despite them? Granted, the last one is not something I should even think about right now, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind.
I KNOW that I serve a God who is faithful and can allow good things to come from horrible tragedies and circumstances. I KNOW that God has a plan in all of this. I KNOW that I have people around me that love and support me. I KNOW that my God loves me and isn’t purposely allowing this to make my life horrible.
Am I still worried out of my mind at how everything will work out these next few weeks, months and years? Absolutely. I can’t and won’t deny that. Do I believe that God will work it all out in His perfect plan? Yes.
I have and always will try to be transparent with you all. On the other side of this blog, there’s a girl who is ordinary, has been going through struggles and is still trying to figure out her place in this great big world we live in.
Even though I haven’t fully conquered my worrying state of being, I’m trying. I do know that it doesn’t change anything if I worry or not- how is it that I still let it take control? It’s horrible for my health, doesn’t help my mental state and it really is just a roller coaster for my emotions. Blog friends, let’s try to tackle this nuisance called worry together.
Are you struggling with worry in some area of your life? Have you overcome worry in the past? If you feel like sharing, I would love to hear your story. You can leave a comment or send me an email.
That’s pretty much my heart on a platter right now. I hope that I didn’t scare too many of you away with how personal I get sometimes. This is me: real.
The next time I write, I’ll be back with a more chipper crafty post. Promise.