Five Years Later…
Hello, sweet friends!
It’s been two years since I’ve done a personal blog post and I definitely come on here a bit apprehensive. I feel like my writing skills are rusty. In the last two years, my business has grown and the blog has definitely become more business based and there’s always a vulnerability when you open yourself up in a personal blog post. However, I’ve done it in the past and it brought wonderful people across my path and I was able to talk to others who could relate to me, people I could encourage and at a point where I could barely leave my house because of the pain I was in, having a connection to the outside world and a sense of purpose was so powerful and writing (even when I didn’t know if anyone would read) was so therapeutic.
In the five years since the car accident happened, so much has changed, I have changed. I’m no longer the same person I was pre-accident and to be honest, I think that’s a good thing. I’m more empathetic to people, more sensitive and caring, I don’t take things for granted (I no longer take going down the stairs, taking showers, going to the store, walking, being able to sleep, brush my teeth, drive, eating normal food and so much for granted), I have a heart for those who battle chronic health issues or have been in any sort of accidents and the list goes on and on. I can’t say I understood any of these things before.
Back in November 2016, I took two months off of work which was beyond scary for me. I had fears that people would forget about my business and when I opened back up it wouldn’t be as busy, but I knew in my heart that I HAD to do this for myself, for my health. Around that time, I was not doing well and knew that I had been overworking and stressing my body. That in itself isn’t good for someone who is doing well physically, but someone who is battling health issues, stress and working crazy weird, long hours is just not healthy. I had to train myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour, be okay with resting and not constantly checking emails, re-learn how to spend time with family and friends and be fully engaged, and to start taking care of myself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This was a scary time, but it was also a sweet time. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. There were many nights when all I wanted to do was work (hello, workaholic over here) but I instead spent time with family or friends and developed even more precious bonds with them, I learned that it’s a wonderful thing to not be attached to your phone at all times, and there is so much more to life than just work. Now don’t get me wrong, I love working, but it was my whole life for three years every moment I felt well and I never really took moments to enjoy what I had built.
BALANCE. Since I re-opened the shop after my hiatus, I’ve been trying to have a healthy work/ life balance. The hiatus did wonders for my body and I had felt better than I had in YEARS. I was able to drive again, go to events and activities, I had energy…. it was like the old Paulina was back (the one up for adventures, able to do things and go places) and that was beyond exciting. I forgot what it was like to actually live life outside of my house or 10 mile radius. I can’t even begin to count how many times I cried after an event because I was so grateful I was able to be able to go. I felt like I had missed out on so much but I hadn’t realized how much I had missed out on until I got to experience some of it again.
SETBACKS. Within the last five weeks, I’ve had a few setbacks and we’re trying to figure out what happened. I was doing so well and making so much progress and then just last week, I was back in bed over 18+ hours a day unable to do anything. I feel like this whole journey has been a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs and unexpected turns and while I’m ready to get off the ride, I’m not sure it’s my time just yet. I’m hopeful that I’ll continue to make strides forward and this is just a tiny setback and I’ll get my energy back. Now that I’ve experienced what life could be like again, I definitely don’t want to miss out on anymore and want to continue to have fun, new experiences.
THANKFUL. As I think back on the last five years, I get teary eyed. I wouldn’t be here without the support of my family. They have been so faithful and supportive. They’ve driven me to countless doctor appointments and tests, made sure I had my own meals, took me to various stores and would hold me up when I couldn’t walk on my own, they would never cease to encourage me and tell me that I’ll get through this and remind me that I’m not alone in this journey, help me with my business and so much more. Then I have some amazing friends that have been with me through thick and thin. I can’t even begin to say all that they’ve done from notes and cards, gifts, texts, meals, taking me out on little outings… I have no idea how I got so blessed with such amazing people in my life but I am so thankful for them. This journey can be so lonely and tiresome at times, especially when there doesn’t seem to be any answers, but then I’m reminded I am NOT alone.
CHALLENGING YOU. I’m not sure where you are in your stage of life. Maybe you’re at a good stage and have the ability to encourage someone. There are so many that are going through a hard time- reach out, send a card or give a meal- you have no idea how much that could bless them. Maybe you’re at a stage in life where you’re on your own rollercoaster. Hang in there. I’d actually encourage you to write down what you’re going through, your thoughts and emotions (it can be on paper or in a private blog). There is something about looking back and seeing where you’ve come from, especially since we can forget details. It’s been so rewarding to look back at my old posts and read where I’ve come as a person, the lessons I’ve learned and what things I used to write about- some of it is humorous now!
I had no idea the direction this post would take, but as always, I wanted to write from my heart. For those going through your own journey, I’m sending you big, big hugs….♥
*you can view all my previous personal post HERE
My heart goes out to you. I know I’m across the country but if you need anything, I am there for you. I didn’t know about your personal health issues but I found you courageous just for running your own crafting business. It’s something I dream of even at the age of 49. Your courage inspires me Paulina. Keep up the brave & great work. You are wonderful!
Awwww you poor girl. I can’t believe you are still going through all this. I feel for you I really do. There’s nothing worse than feeling like crap all the time. As someone who has also been through major illness all I can say is keep pushing. Keep fighting. Get your rest when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I never ever thought I would feel better. After 10 years of feeling tired, exhausted, weak, headaches, swelling and extreme pain a miracle happened. At that time the miracle was disguised in something horrible, but once I overcame it I have felt so much better. Miracles do happen. I’m praying for you for an answer and relief. We all love you and you are so talented.
On a side note do you ever drink tonic water? I found out that is what was causing a lot of my swelling and pain problems and I didn’t know it. Apparently some people have long term physical problems with the quinine in the tonic. Just thought I would throw that out there in case you have had it before that might be all it takes.
I’m so sorry to hear about your health struggles! Thanks for sharing your personal experience. Hugs to you!
Sending you big hugs, Paulina!!
Well said! What a journey you’ve had! I wish for you continued success in both your personal life and your business! We are never alone! God is always present and stands with you!
“O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.” Psalm 139:1-3 (NKJV)
Take care of you!! ❤️
Beautiful Paulina! Today marks one year since I was given a breast cancer diagnosis. It’s been a tough year, but I too am coming through this stronger than ever and I am there to support others in their battle.
What a beautiful post! It brought tears to my eyes. I am praying for strength – both physical and spiritual – for you and healing for your body. Hugs.
My heart and tears go out to you…my last few years have been like yours, Im a diabetic and am having severe leg cramps and horrid arthritis in my legs and myopathy of my feet and legs….I adore the beach and my son and his family took me there last week…,out of 10 days ,I only got down to the beach 3 days, I just couldnt stand the walk ..I was afraid to go in the water because of falling and it was just sad to have to give up something I love so much!!! …Im so scared I may soon not be able to walk at all….I sincerly hope you are back on your feet soon and I will put you in my prayers!! Sometimes life is so hard!!! hugs Jean Heming
I CAN relate to you sharing. Yes, I too was in an auto accident back in 1988. I was hit by a ONE TON utility truck at a red light. Truck driver claimed their foot “slipped off” the brake however, the impact and damage to my vehicle and body said otherwise! Yes, my life got turned upside down that day! Later found out the truck driver was DUI when they hit me at the stop light! Low and behold there was a Pub across from where the accident occurred! Yes, I was in a LOT of pain from that day on. I could NO longer enjoy or do the things I did before the accident. Had to totally reconfigure my life. Got sick and tired of being in constant pain, doctor appointments, rehabilitation, etc. it was depressing! Looking back, had it NOT been for the accident , I would NOT have been able to stay at home and raise my child. I was finally able to return to work THREE years after the accident. however, the beginning of the rollercoaster ride! Many ups and downs, twists and turns, days of pain, crying, etc. to the point where I wanted to throw in the towel however, it was my child that kept me going and kept me swimming NO matter how painful the journey was. I put off having surgery to repaid the “damage” from the accident for fear of being paralyzed from the neck down. My child was still young and needed me. Life has many bumps along the way, some we have control of and some we have NO control over at all. It’s been 27 years since I got hit by that ONE TON truck and many more auto accidents at red stop lights which I was NOT at fault. When my child was in Primary School, I got hit by THREE cars while waiting at a red light which was a major setback. I recovered from that however, I was warned should I happen to get in another auto accident, I may NOT be so “lucky” so now I drive ONLY when needed,, I make sure NO trucks, buses or wonky drivers ARE near me, I leave home at 3:30AM when I go on long drives, I get on the freeways Before 3PM, I do very little driving during FULL MOON…something about FULL MOON makes people wonky especially, on the roads, freeways parking lots! I am constantly looking in my read, side mirrors, I drive on the left side (where drive can SEE me!) of trucks and buses and give trucks and buses the right of way NO Matter what! especially, if I am on the driver’s right side which IS their BLIND Side! I also do NOT drive on the right side next to the truck and bus driver’s right side or left side since I do NOT when they WILL decide to turn! Trucks and buses use TWO lanes to make turns! and they are NOT able to stop on a dime! I have MORE Good days now. I am still able to walk on my own though I was told to use a walker or cane! I have been yelled at by people for parking in the HandiCap with my placard since I look “normal”! Last person that yelled at me was from Missouri who called be a lazy bitch who IS too lazy to walk thirty steps to laundry/dry cleaner counter! I was so ready to tell that person I would trade what I have with them ANY time! I was even yelled at by a person in a wheelchair who was physically fit and able body (buff) except for use of their legs. I was ready to tell that person the same thing….I WILL trade my disability (heart, tumor, herniated discs in neck and back, CFS, PTSD), after affect/effects of auto accident from years ago) with them ANY Time! Yes, there ARE mean people out there however, I have met a LOT of nice, kind people as well. Eat Healthy food, read food labels! There ARE foods that have put me in bed! MSG IS NOW “disguised” on food labels! Meat does NOT agree with me, poultry IS gradually NOT agreeing with me as well. Gave u p rice for quinoa which has made a difference. Sushi rice made with quinoa IS yummy! Hang In There! Keep On Swimming! It DOES Get Better! HOPE IS ALIVE! YOU WILL have YOUR Dream when YOU least expect it! He IS out there! When There IS A WILL….There IS A Way! Yes, there WILL Be Set Backs however, Think Positive Thoughts 24/7! When they pain kicks in…it IS God telling me it IS time to rest… need to rest and NOT do ANYTHING for bit. Learn to Pace yourself. This IS a challenge for Type A people however, with practice….it DOES get better! Always Remember….Only YOU CAN Take Care of Yourself! Only YOU CAN Take Care of the 5%! Keep The FAITH! Trust In Him! God IS Good! JAI YO! (HUGS) <3
Hugs!
Paulina you are such an angel. I’m your biggest fan! Thank you for encouraging people to help those who are going through a tough time. Having a chronic or terminal disease can be so lonely. Since being diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in 2013, I can attest to that. I’m so thankful to my family and friends for being here for me. You are a rock star and I wish for you a future filled with amazing events, adventures, and success! Xoxo
Thank you Paulina for sharing with us. I believe more people need to reach out and be personal with each other as it keeps us connected to each other. And thank you for reminding us how fragile life can be at times and not to take anything for granted.
God Bless you! You have come so far. I am so happy to hear of your achievements. You are so very blessed to have such a great family who love and support you! Something I do not have. Going through my breat cancer, which I still have IV’s to keep it away, I so wish I had family to support me. They just don’t seem to care. Just to know it could come back anytime scares me but I keep my faith strong and do my best. Sending Big hugs to you! I know the road hasn’t been easy but I feel you become stronger in other ways! God Bless you sweetie!
Your words, your struggles, your determination inspire me to keep going. Today was a low moment for me, and reading about your life has made me realize that we all have blessings in our lives. Thank you, and prayers for you!
Hello, sorry to hear about your accident and how you have struggled through five years of challenges. I have had a bad back and know what it is like to be in constant pain. Take one day at a time, appreciate the people around you and take advantage of them – if they can help you let them. I had no one – I was a single parent with a 11 year old son and still had to be a Mom, driving him to school everyday, cooking meals etc. You are so fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends who have supported and helped you along the way! Take care and I hope your recovery continues and things get better for you.
Oh Paulina, praying you get your energy back again and that this is just a short setback for you. Do what you need to do to be healthy and balanced.
Thank you for this beautiful post! I’m very very happy for you, Paulina!!!! <3
Hi Paulina! I had tears in my eyes reading your post. As I’ve mentioned to you before, it’s so similar to my story, it’s uncanny. Your story is so encouraging! I too have seen great improvements this past year :0) (I actually have been able to drive over 30 miles from my home alone without feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, lol). I’ve had some setbacks too, but I’m so blessed to have such supportive friends and family, that the setbacks don’t last as long and most days I feel like my old self too. You are still in my prayers. Thank you for such an inspiring and honest post. ♥️
Thank you Paulina for sharing your heartfelt story with us. You are truly an inspiration and such a strong person. I admire all that you have accomplished in spite of adversity. I am sending you huge hugs and love! Don’t let this set back get you down. You will move through it and come out even stronger. ((Hugs))
Sending big hugs to you and saying lots of prayers. Thank you for having the courage to share what you are going thru, that takes guts. It also inspires people!! I have been on my own five yr rollercoaster, not health related, but having my husband walk out, finding peace and balance raising my boys, starting a new relationship and dealing with the current process of losing my house and recently losing my Dad to brain cancer. I always find that when I am feel the worst, doing something nice for someone else always helps us both!! You are amazing and inspiring!!!
God, in the name of Jesus, Holy Spirit go to Paulina healing her body, soul and mind of anything that ails her and everything that ails her. Amen. Much love to you.
Thank you, Paulina, for sharing your thoughts with us. Your message is beautiful and I did feel it was coming for your heart. I’ve also health problems for now 22 years. It’s a degenerative illness, so I’m going down little by little. But if I did not had it, there are plenty great people I would nerve have met, I would not have the chance to live with 2 adorable dogs and 3 lovely cats. And, also a very important point, I would not have discovered the card making world, I would not have discovered Pretty Pink Posh stamps, dies ans sequins, and I would not have read your message so full of love. There are always good things coming out of bad ones, sometimes it just takes a bit of time, but they do show up one day. And that day, I feel much better 😉!
Paulina, I send you plenty big huge hugs. In French, we say : plein de gros bisous !
Take care !
So nice of you to share your life with us. I admire your strength. BIg Hugs!
Hi Paulina ~ Reading your post, I felt you could be writing it for me; about me. My accident was also 5 years ago (actually 5 1/2 years ago). I think of and pray for your strength, both physically and spiritually. There have been many life changes for many of us, some for the better. I have a greater appreciation for the days when I actually feel like I can do things but must remember not to overdo or I’ll physically backslide. Your post has touched my heart as it seems to have done for so many others. Be well, Paulina, and remember that it’s most important that you take care of you. That is your most important “job”. We all love PPP but you are so much more than stamps and sequins and it’s you we care about and treasure. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. ~HUGS~
#kindnessmatters
Paulina, my heart still breaks for you after all this time. I’m sorry for your setbacks and I am happy for your advancements. Please know that I think of you each time I think of Pretty Pink Posh and hope you are improving. . Love, Donna
So sorry to hear of your setback Paulina. Do what YOU need to do to take care of yourself, business can and will wait. I’ll remember you in my prayers! {{{HUGS}}}
Paulina,
What a beautiful post. You are so brave to share your journey . It is funny how life has to stop us in our tracks to
teach us something we would not hold still long enough to learn.
The things you have learned from your up hill journey have made you a better person.
I pray for you that God will continue to give you strength and surround you with love and support.
God bless you
Paulina, stay strong. It sounds like you’ve been through an awful lot. But it looks like you have a lot of people who care about you. I hope that all the prayers and love coming your way will help you to bounce back even stronger than before. God bless you.
Thank you for sharing with all of us. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had setbacks recently; I know how frustrating and scary that can be. I suffer from depression and bone spurs in my knees that make it difficult to walk or stand for more than a few minutes at a time. I think it’s important to have the courage to speak our stories – you never know who you’re going to touch and encourage. Although there is such a terrible stigma surrounding mental illness in our society, I try to be brave and admit my limitations. Nothing will ever change if no one speaks out. I hope your setbacks are short lived and you begin to feel better soon. Please take care of yourself. And thank you for all the beauty you’ve added to the world through PPP.
Paulina, you are so inspiring. Please know that I’m thinking of you and if I can help in anyway.