Words
It’s bound to happen….someone says something hurtful to you and the words cut like a knife. It may have been in your childhood, or quite possibly even a few days ago. Whether it be a sibling, spouse, parent or friend, just about all of us have encountered this sometime in our life.
This happened recently to me. I won’t go into all the details, but this is far from the first time this has occurred in my life. In the past, when this has happened, I’ve been able to forgive the person who wronged me and moved on. Granted, I may have forgiven the people, but that doesn’t mean their words don’t still replay in my mind.
I’m the type of person that takes things to heart. Yes, I have a sense of humor and can take jokes- I dish them out, so I can take them. However, when things are said about my character, or lack thereof, those are the things that get me thinking. Granted, the person who said them may have apologized (or sometimes they don’t), but I still think about the things that were said. That’s where I am right now….
The most recent hurtful remarks happened seven days ago. The things said have made me reevaluate some of the most important things in my life. If this happens over and over again, am I being a pushover if I continue to allow it to happen?
*sigh* Not going to lie, this is a tough place to be. You know I value your thoughts and opinions- please feel free to leave a comment.
Thanks for letting me spill and ask for advice. You guys are awesome. :)
You are so nice, I can’t imagine anyone saying something mean to you!
I think I am about ten years older than you. And ten years ago, I would have taken the stance to accept the apology and move on. But there are a lot of ways people are mean, and most of it is really passive so they don’t look like the bad guy but they really are. So if someone is willing to say something so mean that they hurt your spirit… that says more about their character than yours. And it is as mean as it gets too. I am not sure I would give that person any more of myself or my time. I know I wouldn’t be making them a card anytime soon!
I hope you can find peace in this matter.
Ohh my, Paulina..I didn’t realize “that” episode was this. I thought it was something smaller and about something else. I’m so sorry you are going through this!And here I was telling you about my situation with a sister yesterday…I feel kinda selfish now. I’ll e-mail you, we need to talk. How I wish we weren’t in the same sinking boat together.
Hopefully we can lift each other up and get past the hateful words spoken by others. {{HUG}} Hang in there sweetie.
Paulina. I love that you are REAL and share your life with us…good and bad. I am 61 years old and I am a Christian too. I learned something really wonderful at the age of 55 through a couple prayer warriers who were counseling me and praying for me. One of the ladies was 84 years old and when I looked at her it was as if I was looking into the eyes of Jesus. She told me that I needed to set boundaries for my “friends” that they were not “honoring” me or my friendship. She told me that I need not allow just anyone into my life even though they had been there for many years. She said to tell them that it’s not OK to stand me up for lunches (which occurred frequently) and to say hurtful things to me and that I felt I was being dishonored as a person and especially as a friend. We are not to be doormats and we are to expect our friends to honor that friendship and treat us with honor. I eventually (within a month) had to cut out 4 woman from my life who had been “friends’ for over 15 years. And you know what, I felt such a huge burden lift from me after I did that. I wasn’t angry with them and I wasn’t disappointed in them any longer because I knew I deserved to have better people in my life. As a result of me setting boundaries for people, I find myself now with WONDERFUL friends who don’t mistreat my open heart and friendly nature. I am careful who I call friend…I have many “aquaintances” but few “friends”. There’s a difference. I hope this helps you…sometimes making necessary decisions is tough but you can do it. You are sweet and kind with a good heart but also deserve to be treated with kindness and honor.
Sorry…I don’t know what I did to make my comment show up THREE times…LOL LOL
really good post.
totally agree with Erika… there are some people that need to know what is okay, and what is not. you know where i stand on this subject! :D
love you TONS.
I’ve had some instances like that, and when they keep repeating – me being hurt, I finally realized I must let it go (HARD to do) but those people are now dead to me. I cannot forgive or forget some things and these were nasty things. From people I’ve known/friended for years. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and learning to cherish more the true friends. Although I don’t think of those instances often, they are still there hovering in the background. It’s very sad to lose what you thought was a long time friend over something like this. sniffle sniffle
I agree with all of the above – some very wise women! I’m not sure what the incident was, but I would be very certain to keep good boundaries and make sure that they were respected. It is amazing how stressful it can be to keep up an unhealthy relationship — I entirely agree that good boundaries or eliminating that stress will make you much happier and attract the kind of people who will really appreciate you! Good luck!!