You Are Beautiful

Before I start with my post, I want to say thanks to those who left a comment on my last post. You all were so real and honest and I truly appreciate that. I know that some may be okay with putting on a show, but those days are behind me. I want to be REAL and not always “sugar coat” everything. Granted, there’s a time and place to say things, and sometimes it’s not appropriate to be completely blunt, but there are times when that is okay. :)

Okay, now we’re going to get personal. Pretty personal, in fact…..

I have suffered from low self esteem pretty much all my life. It may be the perfectionist in me, but I never really thought I “measured up” and reached my full potential in a lot of aspects of my life. When I moved out a few years back, it got even worse.

As many of you who have read my fitness blog know, I gained a whopping 60 pounds in a year. This in itself made me feel not attractive, even though people still said I was. However, there were a few people that started saying really mean things that really got in my head. My fiance at the time (one of the worst ideas ever) had some friends that started to get pretty vocal about my weight gain. To make matters worse, they said it on MySpace. (Remember that site?) They would say I was ugly and fat, that I looked like a man, he was better off without me…. I saw these things and they started to really affect my thinking, and still do to this day.

I know in my head that I shouldn’t seek self worth in people, but in God, but it is definitely not easy. My mom and boyfriend are constantly telling me “you are beautiful”, but I still struggle with believing them.

I don’t really know the point of this post. It might be just to let you in on a little piece of my life, or how I think, or it might be to say that words can definitely be hurtful (and stay with people even six years later). You can take whatever you want from it.

Thanks for stopping by today. Have a wonderful rest of your day.